OUT ON A LIMB

By Jason Rubis

The tree was full, the branches weighed down with apples each the size of Denise’ fist. "Oh God," Denise said, stopping under the tree and staring longingly. "Look at them! I have to get some." She kicked off her shoes and grabbed the tree, beginning to shinny her way up the trunk.

"What are you doing? There are plenty here on the ground," Mike said, sending one fallen apple bouncing off into the orchard with a drunken kick. They had left campus five hours before, parked on a country road in Mike’s car, drinking beer and making out, enjoying the freedom from exam-time. Then Denise had wanted to go walking, and they’d wound up in the orchard. Mike was ready to go back to the car and make out some more, but Denise was obviously in a mood to make trouble.

"Come on, Denny, you’re going to hurt yourself."

"Oh, I will not," Denise said, her voice slurring. "The ones on the ground are all rotten, I don’t want them." She continued squirming up the tree, her sure motions belying her drunkeness. To Mike’s idle mind at that moment she looked like a little like she was embracing some gigantic cock, rising up out of the ground like an earth-god’s phallus. The vision was encouraged by the way Denise grunted and squirmed as she worked her way up, as well as the way her motions made the tree shake. Like it’s getting turned on, he thought, amused. What would a tree’s orgasm be like, he wondered.

"What do you want apples for anyway?" he persisted.

"We can make little pies and stuff," Denise told him. She had reached the lowest branches now, and was carefully pulling herself onto one, moving out over him. "Or roast them in the oven, or just eat them. Didn’t you ever steal apples like this when you were a kid?"

"That’s what you’re doing too, stealing," Mike told her. "We don’t even know who owns this orchard. Come on, Denny, we should get back to the car."

"Fraidy-cat!" Denise said, wrenching an apple from the branch above her and lobbing it at him. It went sailing well over his head, but she laughed at the way he flinched.

Mike knew Denise wouldn’t be satisfied until she had plundered the tree. He waited patiently while she picked apple after apple, piling them in her lap.

"So now what are you going to do?" he demanded, once she was juggling a small mound of fruit. "You can’t climb down with all those."

"I’m going to throw them down to you and you’re going to catch them, stupid."

"Oh, I am, huh?"

"Yeah, you are." She began dropping the apples one by one, giggling as he ran to catch them.

"Alright," he said finally, once all the apples had been transferred from her lap to a neat pile under the tree. "Are you coming down now?"

"Maybe," she said. "Maybe not. Maybe I’ll just stay up here a while."

"And do what?"

"Maybe I’ll pee on your head." She sounded delighted by the idea. She giggled shrilly and began unzipping her jeans, shifting her weight on the limbs so that she was squatting directly over him.

"The hell you are," he told her. He tried to step back from the tree, out of her range, but a stray apple under his heel sent him tumbling to the ground.

"Oh yeah! That’s good, lay right there!" A moment later Mike felt hot liquid trickling between his shoulders as Denise laughed merrily.

She’s peeing on me. She’s really doing it. He couldn’t believe it. "You crazy bitch," he said incredulously.

"So get up," she told him, her flow continuing unabated. "Get up and do something about it."

That was logical enough, but for some reason he couldn’t quite bring himself to move. It felt weirdly good, lying there with her pee falling down on him like rain. Incredibly, he felt himself getting hard.

"I’m gonna tell everybody," she chanted. "Gonna tell everybody you let me pee on you. Tell everybody you liked it."

She must have drunk more beer than he’d thought; the pee kept coming and coming, soaking the back of his shirt, running in little streams down his neck, sprinkling his hair. He couldn’t believe it, but he was moving his hips as she pissed on him, grinding his hard cock into the spring earth.

She was jerking off the tree, now I’m fucking Mother Earth, he thought dazedly, feeling himself get ready to come in his pants. Above him, Denise kept laughing, her pee still falling in torrents.

END